Wanderings with Werewolves by Gilderoy Lockhart
by rhymeswithwitch
Summary: That's right people, Gilderoy Lockhart has just written another winning bestseller, this one about his adventures with werewolves! Please read and review. This is the actual textbook by the way. Complete!
1. An Introduction by Gilderoy Lockhart

Wanderings with Werewolves  
By Gilderoy Lockhart  
  
Table of Contents  
  
I. An Introduction by Gilderoy Lockhart  
II. Countries Inhabited by Werewolves  
III. Defending Yourself  
IV. My Accomplishments  
V. The Story of My Life  
VI. Werewolves & Their Common Traits  
VII. A History of the Werewolf  
VIII. Additional 'Wanderings'  
IX. My Awards and Published Works  
X. Biography  
XI. Contacting Gilderoy Lockhart  
  
***  
  
I. An Introduction by Gilderoy Lockhart  
  
This book is for all witches and wizards, who should be educated about all of the werewolves I have defeated! Ahem...and to also learn how to defend yourself. Quite fascinating really! Also, see my published works already in circulation! (For a full list, see Chapter IX.)  
  
Sincerely,  
Gilderoy Lockhart  
  
-Order of Merlin, First Class  
-Winner of the Shelton Bravery Act  
-Five time winner of Witch Weekly's Charming Smile Award  
  
(For a full list of Gilderoy Lockhart's spectacular achievements, read the  
book!)  
  
***Short chapter, I know. Just a beginning chapter to see how you like it. So please please review! I would love to hear what everybody thinks! –Lauren*** 


	2. Countries Inhabited

***Many thanks to the several people who reviewed my first chapter. It means so much; you have no idea. Anyway, please read and review this, and I hope you enjoy it. The next chapters are going to be more funny, trust me! ANOTHER SHORT CHAPTER, SORRY, BUT THIS IS HOW MOST OF THEM WILL BE. MY APOLOGIES, BUT THAT'S HOT IT'S ARRANGED. WHY AM I TYPING ALL IN CAPS?***  
  
II. Countries Inhabited  
  
The countries that have the highest werewolf populations are:  
-Romania  
-Transylvania  
-England  
That is just a small list of some of the countries wolf-men kind are found. Russia, and Germany shall be included, as well as Sweden and Iceland.  
  
Populations of werewolves (%) below were accounted by the Ministry of Magic some time ago, although personally I have no idea how old these records are. Oh well!  
  
-Romania (24%)  
-Transylvania (39%)  
-England (67%)  
-Russia (15%)  
-Germany (14%)  
-Sweden (12%)  
-Iceland (9%)  
  
But who cares about percentages? What we all need to know is who won Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award 5 times. And we all know who that is. Me. Exactly. Like you had to guess! 


	3. Defending Yourself

***Many thanks to the several people who reviewed my first chapter. It means so much; you have no idea. Anyway, please read and review this, and I hope you enjoy it. The next chapters are going to be more funny, trust me! ANOTHER SHORT CHAPTER, SORRY, BUT THIS IS HOW MOST OF THEM WILL BE. MY APOLOGIES, BUT THAT'S HOT IT'S ARRANGED. WHY AM I TYPING ALL IN CAPS?***  
  
III. Defending Yourself  
  
When confronted with a werewolf, there is only one spell that will help you – the stunning spell. Although this is most obviously basic magic, I will explain it to you. Point your wand at the offending werewolf and yell, "Stupefy!" You might need to say it several times before it takes effect. The spell will stun the wolf in its tracks, leaving you the opportunity to run away!  
  
But, really, when will you EVER use this spell, hmmm? What you WILL use is the color lilac! That is, of course, my favorite color (as I hope all of you already know). Lilac robes, lilac hats! Lilac IS the thing you will use, not these silly stunning spells. To turn something the color lilac, utter the words "Lilliauc" while pointing at the object you wish to change colors. Very useful, trust me.  
  
But if you are still lost as to how to defend yourself, see the chapter about my additional wanderings. I'm sure you can follow my example and be a true werewolf hunter! As long as you don't become as famous as me...haha...I am just joshing, children! 


	4. My Accomplishments

***Many thanks to the several people who reviewed my first chapter. It means so much; you have no idea. Anyway, please read and review this, and I hope you enjoy it. The next chapters are going to be more funny, trust me! ANOTHER SHORT CHAPTER, SORRY, BUT THIS IS HOW MOST OF THEM WILL BE. MY APOLOGIES, BUT THAT'S HOW IT'S ARRANGED. WHY AM I TYPING ALL IN CAPS?***  
  
IV. My Accomplishments  
  
Before we continue about werewolves, we should all know and memorize the accomplishments of me, Gilderoy Lockhart! Don't you agree? I thought so. Essential, correct?  
  
Awards  
  
-Order of Merlin, Third Class  
-The Shelton Bravery Act  
-5 time champion of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award  
-The Medallion of Wolfe  
-The Act of Extreme-and-messy-but-still-smiling Award  
  
Etcetera  
  
-Certificate of Membership from the Lilac Confederation Club  
-'Charming Smile' Club -Lifetime member of the Ministry of Magic Werewolves Accomplishments Club  
  
*For more awards (because I couldn't fit them all in one chapter!) and for  
a list of my published works, see Chapter Nine.* 


	5. The Story of my Life

***Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed! It means so much. Okay, I've gotten complaints about the chapter length, I know they're short. I feel bad, but that's the way I've designed it. However, I will try to update more to make up for the short chapters. Once again, thanks for reading/reviewing!  
  
V. The Story of my Life  
  
The essential thing we must all learn today is the story of my life. Clearly, you will use this more than anything in the world. You'll hardly ever meet a werewolf, but what if you catch me on the street somewhere? You will certainly need to have this essential information at hand.  
  
Now, I was born in Nottingham, England to Conrad and Annunda Lockhart. It was on November 12, 1961 (don't look a day over 30 now do I?) My father was a famous and incredibly handsome dark arts fighter. Almost as famous as me, but not too much of course. Don't want father beating son in celebrity now do we? I went to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry of course, and was in the Hufflepuff house. I then went on to fight bad magical creatures such as werewolves, and have published many books. (For a full list of my published works, see chapter nine.)  
  
My secret ambition in life is to rid the world of evil (must give back to the community, I say) and open my own line of "Gilderoy Lochart: Unlock my Heart" hair care potions. (Coming soon to a Diagon Alley near you!) Also, my ideal gift would be harmony between all magic peoples. But I wouldn't turn down a bottle of Ogden's Old Firewhisky! I wouldn't turn down those lilac socks that I saw the other day. Really the most fantastic shade of lilac I've ever seen!  
  
Ahem, anyway, my next career goal (besides helping people and creating hair care potions) will be to teach at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. No doubt I will become headmaster soon. Professor Dumbledore is brilliant and all, but who can turn down me, Gilderoy Lockhart? Winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award five times! But I've already said that...well it's time to go! Enough about me (sort of!) We must get back to our werewolf story, I know! 


	6. Werewolves and Their Common Traits

***Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed! It means so much. Okay, I've gotten complaints about the chapter length, I know they're short. I feel bad, but that's the way I've designed it. However, I will try to update more to make up for the short chapters. Once again, thanks for reading/reviewing!  
  
VI. Werewolves and their Common Traits  
  
The symptoms a person will have before turning into werewolf are as follows:  
-Paleness  
-Tiredness  
-Graying hair  
-Shaking/trembling  
-Fear of the moon (This symptom is an exception to the above, which are all physical. Fear of the moon is psychological, and not all werewolves have this trait. In my personal opinion, these traits are useless. When will you ever come across a werewolf in real life? Exactly. You never will. So skip ahead to the next chapters. Much more useful, really.)  
  
Anywho, these symptoms will occur almost always five to six days before the full moon of every month. Recently, there have been great advancements in the modern medicine that allow werewolves to better control their illness. It involves some sort of potion or another, frankly I don't know. But once again, who cares? If you're not a werewolf it's not exactly a problem now is it?  
  
Another great advancement in werewolf medicine is of course, me. I am the number one most popular werewolf hunter in the world of wizards! Clearly I beat out Myrtle Finnigan and Drake Beatle. Those hunters haven't nearly killed as many werewolves as I. So, obviously, I have been a big help when it comes to this whole werewolf epidemic.  
  
Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, werewolf traits. There are many of them and certainly not enough space to put them. So for now let's all go to Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions! I hear there is a new stock of lilac dress robes, and on sale!  
  
***CHAPTER SEVEN UP SOON! PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!–Lauren*** 


	7. A History of the Werewolf

***IF YOU DON'T REVIEW, I WILL SIC GILDEROY LOCKHART ON YOU, AND HE WILL ANNOY YOU WITH HIS TALK OF LILACS UNTIL YOU DECIDE TO CLICK THAT BUTTON AND REVIEW! Thanks and please review***  
  
VI. A History of the Werewolf  
  
The first werewolf that has been documented was bitten by a wolf that was cursed. Cursed, so that whenever he bit a human, the human would become a savage and evil wolf once every month on the full moon. The first person to become wolf-man (if my memory serves me correct, ha ha) was Smidley Nantucket. One day he bit another human and the chain began.  
  
The most famous werewolf was Melthinda Gray, who was publicly open about her being a werewolf. Melthinda founded the WSBTFT! (Werewolves Should Be Treated Fairly, Too!). It was an organization that made campaigns to treat werewolves fairly and equally.  
  
Around the time medical advances were being made for people bitten by werewolves, I was born. Although it has nothing to do werewolves, this was a monumental event in the world of wizards. I, Gilderoy Lockhart, belong in this History of a Werewolf. Why, you may ask? Well, I am extremely handsome. And I have defeated many a werewolf in my lifetime. Which brings us to our next chapter, Chapter Eight, "Additional Wanderings."  
  
In this next chapter (which will be quite long due to the numerous encounters I have had) I will discuss what I have done and why exactly I am so famous! Err...and more about werewolves too, I guess. 


	8. Additional 'Wanderings'

VII. Additional 'Wanderings'  
  
Here are some of the werewolves I have conquered! Quite a great story, really. Truly, fascinating!  
  
*When I was traveling in Transylvania, the Duke of Flavia invited me to stay at his castle for a bit. We had some serious business to talk about. I heard rumor of a hot new lilac designer in town, so of course I had to come check it out! Back to the story. During my stay, however, I found out that my host, the Duke, was a werewolf. Quite shocking, really, considering he was a long-time friend. (Notice the mention of "was.") Anywho, when the Duke/wolf trued to bite me, I waved my wand in the middle of the wolf's head and yelled, "Avada Kedavra!" The wolf, in a flood of green light, was defeated. Although the use of an Unforgivable Curse is illegal, I think we can all make an exception for yours truly, Gilderoy Lockhart!  
  
*When I was in Iceland, I had to camp inside an igloo. (Yes, even I, Gilderoy Lockhart, cannot get the best room in some places!) As I was saying, I was sleeping in the igloo (wearing a snazzy new lilac pajama set by that Transylvanian designer I was telling you about) when a wolf confronted me. It was a deadly battle of wills and weapons, but of course I won. No one can defeat me! So, I stunned the werewolf, and left immediately. See? Defeating evil isn't so hard, if you're me of course!  
  
*Our final riveting scenario starring me, takes place in the United States of America territory of Hawaii. I went to this place because I heard of a werewolf haunting a group of hula dancers. When I was participating at a luau (wearing a fabulous lilac lei) the werewolf emerged. Me, being the hero of this story, took out my wand and promptly defeated the offending evil creature. Needless to say, the inhabitants of Hawaii will never forget me. Nor I them!  
  
So there you have it! Just a small amount out of many werewolves I have eliminated! I am sure you would love to hear the rest, so you can write to me at:  
  
Gilderoy Lockhart  
#1773, The Creaky Castle  
Diagon Alley  
London, England  
  
You can also write to me there to get a signed picture of me! So just send an owl, and wait for my response (which I know you'll eagerly be awaiting!)  
  
And remember my two mottoes:  
  
"Fame is a fickle friend."  
"Celebrity is as celebrity does."  
  
*CHAPTER NINE UP SOON* PLEASE REVIEW. WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF YOU DON'T, YOU MAY WONDER. SO I WILL TELL YOU. GILDEROY LOCKHART MAY PERFORM A MEMORY CHARM ON YOU. UNFORTUNATELY IT MAY BACKFIRE ONTO HIM, SO I DON'T KNOW HOW RELIABLE THAT IS.....BUT PLEASE REVIEW ANYWAY!!! 


	9. My Awards and Published Works

VIII. My Awards and Published Works  
  
More Awards Presented To Me, Gilderoy Lockhart  
(See more in Chapter 4)  
  
-Charming Smile Recipients Club  
-Hair Products for Men Guild  
-The Sauciest Man Country Club  
-Lifetime Membership from Madame Malkin's Robes For All Occasions  
  
A Complete List of my Published Works  
  
-Magical Me: An Autobiography  
-Break With A Banshee  
-Gadding With Ghouls  
-Holidays With Hags  
-Travels With Trolls  
-Voyages With Vampires  
-Year With The Yeti  
-Gilderoy Lockhart's List of Common Pests and How To Deal With Them  
-Wanderings With Werewolves (of course!)  
  
AND COMING SOON...  
  
"Ponderings With Pixies: They're Worse Than They Look!"  
This book will deal with all of my explosive and fascinating ordeals  
While teaching at Hogwarts.  
  
**CHAPTER NINE COMING SOON ONLY IF YOU REVIEW.** 


	10. Biography

*Before I begin, I'd like to thank all of my reviewers: Princess-Perfect, darkboy77, Briana Rose, a couple of anonymous people...and to one reviewer in particular: flattenedowl. Hehe, thanks for doing all those reviews. Next thing ya know I'll have to take a restraining order against you! I'm kidding! Thanks very much!*  
  
X. Biography  
  
Since I do not think that my first biography (Chapter Five) really satisfied your need to learn about me, I decided to complete our werewolf story and talk about me instead! I knew you wouldn't mind. A brilliant idea, really.  
  
A Continued Look At My Life:  
Gilderoy Lockhart was born on November 12, in England. His favorite color is lilac. His hair is a wavy mound of gorgeous golden hair. His eyes are a sparkling cerulean blue, and his lips a luscious soft fuchsia that neither man (or woman) nor beast can resist! He could possibly be the most handsome man in all of England...or Great Britain! (And single I may add!)  
He was written a number of books that have gone #1 on the bestseller list in the Daily Prophet. Now that we've covered a good amount of Gilderoy Lockhart's life, it is time to look at his celebrity. This list, published in Magical Me: An Autobiography, is a list that gives 10 tips for famously famous people. Although nobody is as famous as Gilderoy Lockart!  
  
1. Always have a stack of pictures on hand, just in case a fan approaches you.  
2. A quill (preferably with lilac ink) to sign those pictures with!  
3. Start your own fan club. Then people will think you are famous, and they will join!  
4. Write books! Lots and lots of books. Hopefully you can get on the bestseller list. If not, then it was a waste of time! But it's worth a try!  
5. Lilac hats/socks/scarves/shoes/etc. No celebrity should be without them!  
6. Get a personal photographer to follow you around. Make people think you have publicity!  
7. White powder. If something embarrassing happens, and you get all red and horrid, pat some powder on your face and get ready for a picture!  
8. Toothpaste (and a lilac toothbrush). You need to keep those pearly whites white!  
9. Robes in every color of the rainbow (plus lilac of course). You need to stand out and make a STATEMENT, if you are me, a celebrity. If you are not a celebrity, you will just look like an idiot.  
10. Learn memory charms.  
  
Now that you know all of the things I USED to get famous, you are nearly on your way. Of course, you need the raw talent, like I have.  
  
*PLEASE REVIEW! IT'S NOT HARD! JUST CLICK THAT LITTLE BUTTON BELOW AND REVIEW. PLEASE! AND I PROMISE TO UPDATE!!!* 


	11. Contacting Gilderoy Lockhart OR How To J...

XI. Contacting Gilderoy Lockhart or How To Join His Fan Club  
  
I know you readers all have one question on your mind (besides "Why is Gilderoy Lockhart so successful/handsome/fabulous?"). And that question that is most likely bothering you is this: How can I contact the famous Gilderoy Lockhart? Well, I of course must answer that! In order to get a lovely autographed picture of ME, just write to me at:  
  
Gilderoy Lockhart  
#1773, The Creaky Castle  
Diagon Alley  
London, England  
  
Anywho, I also have a lovely fan club that you simply must join! When you join, you get a quite large package containing several pictures of me. That's about it, but trust me, it's worth it! Only one galleon to join. Although the price seems a tad bit hefty, the pictures are ultra-exclusive and simply fabulous.  
  
Anywho, now that you know all of that essential information, I must conclude this five-month Daily Prophet bestseller. I am sure you are prepared to defend yourself when confronted with a werewolf. However, you also know all of my fascinating life information! Which is loads more important, by the way. And this sentence concludes Wanderings with Werewolves.  
  
Sincerely yours,  
Gilderoy Lockhart  
  
***OR IS IT THE END??? IF I GET MORE REVIEWS (and not more from flattenedowl!!) THEN I WILL DEFINITELY PUT IN A BONUS CHAPTER FILLED WITH MORE OF GILDEROY LOCKHART'S LUDICROUS ANTICS!!! P.S. I was just kidding about the lovely flattenedowl person. I simply love all of my reviews, each one counts!!!*** 


	12. Bonus Chapter!

TO THE READERS OF WANDERINGS WITH WEREWOLVES:  
I've decided not to make a bonus chapter for this story. Mainly because my well of ideas has...err...dried up. Or something. BUT NOT TO WORRY! My next fan fiction will be... well, actually, I haven't decided.  
I would like you people to review and tell me which one of these you would most like to see:  
EITHER....  
  
"Voyages with Vampires"  
OR  
MY OWN CREATION: "Ponderings with Pixies: They're Worse Than They Look!"  
  
SO REVIEW AND TELL ME WHICH ONE I SHOULD DO!!!!  
~Lauren~ 


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